To Quote a Famous Baseball Player

It's budget season at Denver Botanic Gardens, so I haven't had much creative energy lately. Thus, the extended period between postings. It hasn't been for a lack of ideas, just the time or energy to write them down.

Of the many reasons that baseball is so near and dear to my heart, one is the ability for players, managers, etc. to express themselves in colorful and, often times, humorous ways. In fact, in my opinion, a manager is not really very good unless he can explain an ordinary event in such a way that will give you a little chuckle. With this in mind, I have compiled some of my favorite quotes by baseball players, about baseball players, or about baseball in general. If you enjoy these quotations, visit Baseball Almanac's website and browse their vast collection.

Without question, the most popular baseball personality to be quoted is Yogi Berra. His quotations have become so popular as to have actually earned their own term, a Yogiism. Most people today are probably familiar with at least one Yogiism, whether or not they know Yogi Berra said it, or even who Yogi Berra is. I do not have any Yogi Berra quotes here. I thought it would be more fun to mention those that are not as well known.


Wait until Tommy (Lasorda) meets the Lord and finds out he's wearing pinstripes. - Gaylord Perry

All last year we tried to teach him (Fernando Valenzuela) English, and the only word he learned was million. - Lasorda

He (Daryl Strawberry) is not a dog; a dog is loyal and runs after balls. - Lasorda

The only thing Earl Weaver knows about big-league pitching is that he can't hit it. - Jim Palmer

Don Drysdale would consider an intentional walk a waste of three pitches. If he wants to put you on base, he can hit you with one pitch. - Mike Shannon

I hated to bat against Drysdale. After he hit you he'd come around, look at the bruise on your arm and say, "Do you want me to sign it?" - Micky Mantle

He (Bob Gibson) pitches as though he's double-parked. - Vin Scully

Bob Gibson is the luckiest pitcher in baseball. He is always pitching when the other team doesn't score any runs. - Tim McCarver

Trying to hit him (Sandy Koufax) was like trying to drink coffee with a fork. - Willie Stargell

Blind people come to the park just to listen to him (Tom Seaver) pitch. - Reggie Jackson

Every hitter likes fastballs just like everybody likes ice cream. But you don't like it when someone's stuffing it into you by the gallon. That's how you feel when Nolan Ryan's throwing balls by you. - Reggie Jackson

It's not that Reggie (Jackson) is a bad outfielder. He just has trouble judging the ball and picking it up. - New York Yankees Manager Billy Martin

There isn't enough mustard in the whole world to cover that hot dog. - Darold Knowles about Reggie Jackson

If he can hit .350, we (Missouri driver's license bureau) figured he (George Brett) could see. - Harley Duncan on why they waived the eye test

He's (Rod Carew) the only guy I know who can go four for three. - Alan Bannister

I found out (after getting glasses in 1986) there are a lot of ugly people out there. - Eddie Murray

For my friend, Rick Cummings:

A surge of joy flooded over me that I will never forget. I felt like shouting out that I had made a ball curve. I wanted to tell everybody - it was too good to keep to myself. - Candy Cummings, inventor of the curve ball

Nothing is better for a good chuckle than a handful of quotes by Bob Uecker.

Career highlights? I had two. I got an intentional walk from Sandy Koufax and I got out of a rundown against the Mets.

I led the league in "Go get 'em next time".

In 1962, I was named Minor League Player of the Year. It was my second season in the bigs.

I signed with the Milwaukee Braves for three thousand dollars. That bothered my dad at the time because he didn't have that kind of dough. But he eventually scraped it up.

I didn't get a lot of awards as a player. But they did have a Bob Uecker Day Off for me once in Philly.


And, lastly, my all-time favorite baseball quote:

When I was a small boy in Kansas, a friend of mine and I went fishing and as we sat there in the warmth of the summer afternoon on a river bank, we talked about what we wanted to do when we grew up. I told him that I wanted to be a real major league baseball player, a genuine professional like Honus Wagner. My friend said that he'd like to be President of the United States. Neither of us got our wish. - Dwight D. Eisenhower